A short scene from an episode of Seinfeld that should be called “The Smarties.”
I may return to write the entire episode.
Credit to Reddit users 1BLOPI and UnsubstantiatedClaim for the prompt.
Background: George has found a vending machine that only accepts Canadian currency. After a few days of exchange rate abuse, the company begins stocking it with Canadian items.Jerry’s apartment. George and Jerry are standing around the counter.Elaine enters.ELAINEGeorge. That Canadian vending machine – does it have Smarties?GEORGEWell it wouldn’t be very Smartie if it didn’t.Jerry gives George a look of disgust.ELAINEI need you to get me some. I love them.GEORGEYeah, sure. How many?ELAINEHere’s a twenty.HALLWAY WITH VENDING MACINE.George looks at the machine. It only has pictures, not a window to see the candy.GEORGE$1 per pack? <George snorts> Yeah, right.GEORGE IS SEEN IN A STORE BUYING A LARGE BOX OF SMARTIES. THE TOTAL IS $22.LATER. MONK’S. JERRY AND ELAINE ARE IN THE BOOTH.George enters carrying a brown paper bag. He drops it in front of Elaine and sits next to Jerry.GEORGEYou owe me $2.Elaine opens the bag and pulls out one package.ELAINEWhat’s this?GEORGESmarties.ELAINENo, they’re not.GEORGEYes, they are. See? “Smarties.”ELAINEI asked for Canadian Smarties. These are just American Smarties.GEORGEWhat’s the difference?JERRYOh boy…ELAINEWhat’s the difference?GEORGEThere’s barely a difference between the countries, how much difference is there in the candy?ELAINEA huge difference! The Canadian Smarties are chocolate. The American kind are just… chalk. Give me my twenty.GEORGEGive you the twenty? You asked for Smarties, you got Smarties.ELAINEWell I’m not taking them. You keep them.GEORGEMe keep them? What am I supposed to do with them?ELAINEGo draw on the sidewalk.
The Look and Sound of Eric Stevens 